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Absolutely no connection to Caterham.

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  • Absolutely no connection to Caterham.

    I found the following transcript from a Swedish chat. Since I need a break from my C++ fest, I thought I would translate it for you:

    <Cure> I had too much spare time today.

    <Cure> A guy called this morning, he introduced himself with his first and last name and the company he worked for. He wanted to sell some long distance phone service. I told him I was busy and asked him to call back later. When he had hung up, I tried to find his name on the Internet, but drew a blank. So I called "folkbokforingen" [government agency keeping track of where all Swedes live] and retrieves his home address and SSN. [These are public records in Sweden.]

    <Cure> Two hours later the same guy calls again. Apparently it was all about some special offer from Tele2. I say that I'll take the offer. He then says that he will record an agreement over the phone. It starts with him asking for my name, which I give.

    <Cure> Then I am supposed to read my SSN, so I give the sales person's SSN. There is a bit of a silcence for a few seconds, but soon he continues with the agreement. At the end I need to state my address and of course I give the guy's own address.
    The following silence lasts for ten seconds until *I* say "Very well! We will connect you as soon as we can."

    <Cure> Another ten seconds of complete silence until the sales person says "I am not buying a long distance service?"

    <Cure> "Couldn't you have said that earlier?", I ask. "It's really unnecessary that you waste my time like this." Yet again ten seconds of silence during which only rapid breathing is heard over the line. Then everything is finished with a >click<.

    <Cure> Weird guy.

    <Cure> Now I am spending the rest of the day ordering a lot of things in his name from the catalogue that arrived this morning. I hope he likes his subscription on foreign postal stamps for only $9.99/month.

    <Quader> Your hate for phone marketers is probably not entirely healthy.

  • #2
    Absolutely no connection to Caterham.
    "no connection"! I get it! Ha! Swedish fone humor! Take that, you Norveegees:D

    P.S.: correct coding terminology is " C++athon", not "C++ fest"
    A day you don't go a hundred is a day wasted


    • #3
      No. The correct term is "Wrecking your brain over your friend's brilliantly complex code when trying to expand it.".

      To all norwegians out there, I will only say:

      This is a deadly insult, in case you wondered.

      /Magnus F.


      • #4
        I'll have to leave that one for the next time I see you, which I hope is sooner rather than later.

        Hint: Willow is next weekend...
        A day you don't go a hundred is a day wasted


        • #5
          TEN FINKERS
          Ole vas vorking at the fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers.

          He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do."





          Ole said, "I haven't got da finkers."

          "Vhat do you mean, you hafen't got da finkers?" he said. "Lordy!!! It's 2006 and Ive's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn't you brink da finkers?"

          Ole says.. .


          da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?


          • #6
            And now for something completely different:

            Two British gentlemen were sitting at the Thames fishing. Suddenly one of them caught a beautiful mermaid. The lucky man sat with the mermaid in his lap and they smiled seductively at each other.

            Suddenly, he unceremoniously dumps his catch back into the river.

            The second gentleman, utterly confused, asked:
            "But why?"

            The answer came without hesitation:
            "But how?



            • #7
              Come on leave the English alone. I thought the topic was Norwegian (see below). BTW, I am not bored I am in panic mode. Just launched a new product and found a big fat problem. Well, back to work tomorrow morning......
              Ole, Lars and Sven had been going to the Sons of Norway Hall meeting as long
              as there had been a hall. And every month, wouldn't ya know it! They
              didn't win a prize in the monthly drawing......

              That is, until the last meeting.

              Sven was the first one of the three to get his name drawn. He won two pounds
              of pasghetti sauce, four boxes of noodles and three pounds of Swedish

              Ole had his name drawn next. He got himself round trip tickets to 'Dulut', a
              stay at the Dew Drop Inn and a pair of tickets to see the Inger Triplets
              Polka Ensemble. Ole thought he had died and gone to heaven.......

              Lars was the last one to have his name drawn. He won a toilet brush.

              At the next monthly meeting, they sat down together to check out how each
              other had fared for the past month.

              Sven said "Uff da, I had dat pasghetti for tree days. It was so good, and
              Helga didn't have to buy food for dem dere tree days."

              Ole said, "Lena was so happy vhen I brought home dem tickets. The trip up to
              'Dulut' was nice, we got to ride da Greyhound, and you know, they got a
              built-in outhouse on dat dere bus. And the Inger Triplets, if I didn't know
              better, I would swear dey were sisters."

              Then Ole turned to Lars and asked him how is prize worked out. Lars looked
              back at both of them and said, "dat dere toilet brush is nice, but I tink
              I'll go back to using paper."
              Last edited by slomove; February 2, 2007, 10:36 PM.


              • #8

                So, a penguin goes to a mechanic w/ his broken car.

                "Can you tell me what's wrong w/ my car?"

                The mechanic replies "Sure, it'll take about an hour."

                The penguin wanders around for a while and becomes hungry. He stops and buys a vanilla ice cream cone. But, because he's a penguin, it's hard to eat it and he gets ice cream all over his beak.

                He returns to the shop and goes to see the mechanic.

                The mechanic says "It looks like you've blown a seal."

                The penguin replies "no, it's just ice cream"

                Ba bump tsss

                Thank you folks, I'm here all week:D
                A day you don't go a hundred is a day wasted


                • #9
                  This dyslexic guy walks into a bra...
                  - Sean


                  • #10
                    Maybe it's time for a Caterhumor thread; except with a more generic name.


                    • #11

                      I am somewhat surprised that you haven't rised to the challenge from Gert's relentless attacks on your Norwegian ancestors. There are so much to be said about germans. (Don't mention the war...)

                      /Magnus F.


                      • #12
                        Yeah, I was waiting for that.... :)

                        Obviously these tasteless jokes are not of German origin (we only joke abouth the Dutch and Eastern Frisians). But they seem to be quite popular on Minnesota web sites. Actually I found one there where the Norwegians are wondering how many Swedes it takes to grease a combine. Well I am not goink there....



                        • #13
                          Well I'm Irish, so if you guys ever get tired of having to actually put forth some effort, you could always throw out some Irish jokes, like this one:
                          Q: How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
                          A: Two; one to hold the light bulb, and the other to keep drinking until the room starts to spin.
                          - Sean


                          • #14
                            Magnus, Re the alleged jokes: Consider the source.


                            • #15
                              Well, to compensate for the bad jokes about Norwegians....

                              Happy Birthday to King Harald of Norway!!
                              Last edited by slomove; February 21, 2007, 11:29 PM.